Rad Trad Convert Mom With Postpartum Depression Be Like: I Want To Stab The Baby...

New mom reveals horrifying reality of postpartum depression - from overjoyed with pregnancy to 'wanting to stab' the baby 

 A new mom suffering from postpartum depression was so 'emotionally numb' after giving birth she wished she were dead and wanted to 'stab her baby to death.' The unnamed 30-year-old went to her local hospital four weeks after giving birth to her first child, a healthy baby boy. The week before, she had called the facility and claimed her nipples were so painful and bloody she couldn't breastfeed her baby and was afraid it was preventing a mother-son bond.By the next day, she told her husband: 'I can't go on like this. I can't do this anymore. I can't wake up feeling like this again.' The patient was so overwhelmed and distressed she confessed to her doctors: 'The idea of being this baby's mother for the rest of my life is too much for me to handle. 'I don't want to do this now or for the rest of my life. I wish I were dead sometimes.' The new mom, eventually diagnosed with postpartum depression and obsessive compulsive disorder, is just one of millions of mothers who struggle with dark and intrusive thoughts after giving birth. The CDC reports about one in eight women experience post-partum depression, but experts predict many go untreated, leading some to commit desperate acts of self-harm or infanticide. And the condition, which is on the rise in the US, could lead to long-term health issues in babies, including impaired cognitive development and obesity. The woman in the case report, detailed in the New England Journal of Medicine, had a normal pregnancy, with no complications other than high blood pressure. She had a history of minor anxiety. Immediately after the birth, she was able to breastfeed and was engaged in the infant's care. She was discharged after four days, but at home, the infant had trouble latching during breastfeeding and she called the hospital for advice on the issue. She also told doctors she was having trouble sleeping and feeling anxious. Providers told the new mom to begin bottle-feeding her son to ensure he was getting proper nutrition, and she was prescribed an antidepressant. One week later, the patient called the hospital again, worried her issues breastfeeding - including painful, bleeding nipples - were preventing her from bonding with the baby. She also had taken her blood pressure, which had rocketed above healthy range. Doctors urged her to come to the hospital where she told them she was still having insomnia and anxiety, but she was now also experiencing a low appetite and headaches. They instructed her to continue taking the antidepressant, along with two new medications: lorazepam for anxiety and nifedipine for high blood pressure. The next day, the woman's mood deteriorated even further. She told her husband: 'I can't go on like this. I can't do this anymore. I can't wake up feeling like this again.' He called the doctor's office and was told to bring his wife in immediately. There, she revealed other struggles she was experiencing, including that she sometimes couldn't remember if she had fed the baby and that she felt 'lonely, isolated, distressed, and unable to engage in most child care duties.' Source